I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
