I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
