he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
