I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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