I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
