considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize