The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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