like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize