So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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