apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize