Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
