Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
