TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
