then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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