There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
