How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
