does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
