In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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