This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
