Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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