im six kinds of drunk right now
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
