my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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