I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
