i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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