I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
