New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
