what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
