What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
