but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
