Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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