I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
