You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
