Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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