you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
