Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
