maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
