It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
