i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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