I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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