wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
