He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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