covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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