I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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