when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
