I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
