I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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