dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize