you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
