i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
