I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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