I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize