PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
