We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You were trust falling into bushes
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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