What a fucking waste of an outfit
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
