Porn is love you can see.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
