i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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