Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
