The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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