I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
