Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize