I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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